Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
