His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
