they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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