i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
