I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
