Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
