she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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