Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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