can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
