My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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