his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
