Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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