I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
