i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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