Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
