i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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