YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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