Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
