the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
