my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
