Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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