i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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