Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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