I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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