the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
