i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
