see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
