wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.