We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP