You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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