she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
