check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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