Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
