I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
