i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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