pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
