Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
