I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
