We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You pole danced in your parka.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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