She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
