Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Fuck appropriateness.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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