In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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