Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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