just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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