writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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