I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
a search helicopter?!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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