? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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