Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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