Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
