pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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