dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
