That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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