So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
