singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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