Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
