Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
