why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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