she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
