The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
