Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize