The best revenge is premature balding
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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