you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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